Originally posted 10 January 2018.
I sometimes classify myself as being a lightweight. This has nothing to do with my physical abilities or my ability to alcohol (because we all know I don't drink). But has everything to do with my likeliness to faint in sometimes unusual circumstances.
One of those includes giving blood. For a simple blood test. I've never been a big fan of needles. Not so much the needle itself but just the whole medical procedure of sticking sharp things into the skin. I am profusely grateful for those with the stomach and even curiosity of the whole medical world because with a work full of me's, we'd soon die out. Or just be frequently faint.
Props to my Dad for he is a frequent blood donor. I am not. I was never able to psych myself up enough to get on and try donating blood. That is until yesterday. When I figuratively fist pumped my way through number sixty nine... donate blood.
Now I feel like I have to delve a little deeper into why this is such a significant milestone. Sure it's great that you're helping to save lives. Let's not underestimate that. But really, this one was a huge moment of personal growth. So let me show you why.
My first fainting experience was somewhere around the ripe age of 10. I was in the school hall standing in a circle with the rest of my class singing. I vaguely remember some fancy choir people had come to visit. Next thing I know, I'm opening my eyes, on the ground, staring at some kid, trying to figure out why I was here and not at home where I thought I had been deep dreaming.
The rest of my fainting experiences range from getting my hair blow dryed, having my blood pressure taken, to talking about how a lady was recovering from a slipped disc. I'm now hoping you can start to see why introducing anything medically related would add some serious concern to the fainting issue I seemed to have.
The need for blood tests to be performed continued to be a happening thing in life and so after a pretty hectic fainting-during-blood-extraction episode, I then became a professed must-lay-down-during-extraction-or-you'll-have-to-lift-me-up-later person.
Last year was the year of the pin cushion. I went into 2017 having weekly blood tests coupled with previous hospital experiences of being a little more prodded than I ever wanted to. I was starting to feel pretty comfortable with it all. And while I wasn't ready to actually watch the process, I felt game, for the first time in eight years, to try sitting up during the blood test.
I was ridiculously proud of myself that day. I was fainting free and jazzed enough to message my mum about it. I'd begun to consider the possibility of one day giving blood. Almost.
During the first week of this new year Josh and I went on a camping trip. On the first day we went for a bush walk and happened upon a trail with a waterfall. Something inside me wanted to do something daring, so I jumped up on the sizeable rock next to the waterfall and called out, "I'm king of the world." But it didn't stop there.
I have a very real and anxiety provoking fear of falling. It's why I've stopped riding bikes and why I stay away from ladders. Two minutes after jumping off the rock I saw in our path a tree that had fallen across the creek attached to the waterfall. I told Josh I was keen to walk across it. Yes. I volunteered myself to do something I would normally turn down when only being asked. So looking down and repeatedly telling myself that I could do it, I Lion King'ed across that log.
There's this satisfying feeling after doing something that raises your heart rate, invites anxious butterflies, and makes your palms sweat like it's 45 degrees out. In that moment I decided that 2018 was going to be the year of the fearless.
Last week Josh said he wanted to give blood and I went along with it. He made the appointment and after a phone call I was booked in and good to go. As expected on the day I felt those anxious butterflies make themselves comfortable, so I used my handy and powerful affirmations and got through it without passing out or feeling faint.
I didn't look at the needle going in but I did watch the collection bag being tipped side to side. All the posters say that one donation saves three lives... which is awesome, but honestly I'm more jazzed that I did something that I had previously signed myself off from ever doing.
There are some things we stop ourselves from doing because we think we never could. I'm here to show you this year that more is possible than we sometimes let ourselves believe.
Fearless - bring it on!
