Originally posted 30 December 2017.
I have just spent the last 76 minutes trying to put together a poster for a church event. There is something special about the rage that comes from putting up with ill functioning technology. Never at any other time, do I so desperately want to pick something up and throw it across the room, hoping that it smashes into more pieces than I could be bothered to count.
Yet here I am. On the same computer. Hoping that it behaves. Because really, you do not want to poke the mumma bear right now. Rage aside, the only reason I'm still here and not hulk smashing right now is the looming new year. Powerful right?
It's the reason hundreds of people sign up to the gym, thousands of people book holidays and millions of people sit down and right a list that will supposedly shape the next 365 days. Exactly one year ago I sat down and wrote my own list. It wasn't my new years resolutions and it wasn't a bucket list. But it did shape the following 365 days and not always in the way that I had planned.
So let's review the 365 days we categorised as... two thousand and seventeen.
Total number of items on The Nike List for 2017: 62
This time last year I was on a pretty mega high. Despite having experienced a miscarriage just two weeks earlier, I was jazzed about the future and the possibilities that The Nike List helped me see.
Flip forward to this year and it's relatively the polar opposite. I have more struggle days than blissful ones, but I'm slowly coming to accept that life happens in seasons. I may be in my Winter, but it's the only way I'll ever get to Spring. I think there's beauty in that.
I think that 2017 has been the first year I've ever lived so intentionally. I didn't set goals that I expected to be completed by December 31st, but I did set the intention to live like I'd never done before... and a lot of things happened. Here are some highlights.
Total number of items ticked off The Nike List for 2017: 48
I had some serious successes and then failures and then successes and then failures and then successes when we're talking health. I started the year hard core ready to make this the year that I smashed the scales and quickly realised I needed to let my body heal. The rest of the year followed through like a typical rollercoaster ride. Ups and downs.
After some new information regarding my fertility, I got recommitted to my weight loss and it got me a heel spur. Not exactly what I was after. Hello adjustments to my workouts, as well as my expectations. But I now happily stand 10kg closer to my health goals.
We went to a bunch of places and saw a tonne of things. I'm fairly sure if I was to take inventory, I'd find that we had gone to more places in just this one year compared to all our married years combined! We took a quick overnighter and after 3 years of wanting, we finally made it to see Vivid (blog still pending). In the same kind of fashion we ticked off Josh's number one to go camping for the first time. I took my first solo road trip. Woo! We acted very unlike ourselves and jumped the train to the Royal Easter Show. Loved it!
And as part of our regular date nights we visited the Newcastle Museum, watched the sunrise at Merewether Beach, relaxed in style at a Gold Class cinema, had Josh
try sushi train for the first time and had a few impulsive beach walking and swimming dates.
People make time for the things that are important. One of the major things we learned this year is that you choose what is important by how you organise your time. We spent a lot of time trying to make time to spend with family and friends. We still have a pretty solid list of people that we still haven't caught up with yet, but in comparison to years past, we made a solid effort. It's definitely helped us to strengthen and develop friendships we truly treasure.
It is literally no secret that I want kids and that it has been a struggle. Earlier in the year I wrote about a special relationship I have with the cutest little girl I've ever met. Six months into the year my reality hadn't changed, but the location of my home did. In a massive heavenly blessing I moved a 5 minute walk away from that little cutie. The more I tried to embrace my ability to mother in a different capacity than I'd imagined, the more I felt empty.
So grew number fifty five... play dates with Milly (blog pending). Once a week for a few hours I got to spend time soaking in the magnificence which is Milly. I've learned how to decipher language, get used to listening to the same thing repeatedly and greatest of all its helped me get back in touch with my imagination and the wonder of the child's simple life.
One of the most challenging and rewarding things that I did this year was to travel to the middle of nowhere and go without deodorant for four days. I haven't made the time to finish blogging about this one, but I spent my October long weekend with nine adopted children walking around in circles with a handcart. It was hard. It was sweaty. It was the best! I promise to blog more about it soon. But this was such an amazing experience.
I also got the spend the year watching both my sister and one of my best friends get married to the loves of their life. Who doesn't love a wedding?
I'm feeling like I'm edging towards the end of this blog and there are still so many things to remember about this year. And somehow I almost totally forgot how I spent a lot of it!
Teaching!
The two years during my Masters was full speed with several speed bumps. I knew going out of it that I wanted to take some time off. I thought one term off would be pretty settled, but as I grew near to second term I started to wonder if I really wanted to jump in or not. In more heavenly blessings, I got some nudges that it was time get into it. All in the space of one week, I had received all clearance to start teaching, as well as three messages asking if I was available for work... all before I'd even put together a resume.
Teaching has been an amazing experience, and casual teaching has been exactly what I need. I've tried to be a positive part of the day for hundreds of kids. I've learned how to be comfortable enough with myself that teenager's comments don't stick. I've got handle on learning several students names from multiple schools. I've received masses of compliments from my shoes to my eyebrows. I've joyed in having kids tell me they like me and I've internally raged witnessing kids doing and saying things that are ridiculously insensitive. Most days I whole heartedly love it. Some moments I tire of it. But for right now, it is exactly what I want, and I feel really blessed to have it.
I've spent the last two weeks or so thinking about the new year, the current season of my life, and the direction that I'll take for the next 365 days. I sit now and think back on the year that just was and I really feel like things have changed. But I think that you'd have to be pretty blind to think things could remain exactly the same.
I've definitely learned a lot more about creating the life that I want. Not exactly in all areas of my life, but that's what next year is for right? I more easily look at things and see possibility rather than wishful thinking. It's an empowering mindset.
You can make life what you want it to be. It may not happen overnight, but it can happen. It doesn't have to be a new year, new month or even a Monday. January 1st is literally just another day. But since we're all here, take a think about what you want for your next year. What are your intentions? What is just one thing you'd hope to spend the next 365 days learning and implementing?
I promise to let you know all about mine during the next 365 days. Happy New Year!
